I wonder if she got hers too?

:/ uhhh.I hate this.

So I'm kinda upset right now. I had a really interesting dream. It felt so real. When I woke up, I was happy to be dreaming. All I remember was running, and ending no where. I'm curious to know how it ended. Did I die from those gang members chasing me or did I find a good enough hiding place for them to just give up on looking for me? Hmmm... I really hate it how some of my dreams never end and leave me wondering what happened. I wish I could know or at least close my eyes and pick up right where it last left off. Wouldn't that be crazy if everyone could alter the ending to our dream? That would be so very cool..now I lay here in my bed, contemplating whether or not I should call. I went to bed sad last night bc of what was said. If there's other girls, then why can't there be other boys? Just doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm way in over my head with everything. I don't like the immediate insecure feeling I got from our conversation last night. Why would his friend ask if he was talking to chelsea? Really? Maybe I do need some time to really think about this. If someone comes along the way and I find interesting, then why not give it a chance? I can't keep feeling like this with him. It brings back way too many old thoughts and feelings. So many questions unanswered. I don't even think its worth asking. Who knows if the answer will be true or not..looks like I have a lot on my plate right now. Like I said, the only solution would be to give it time. Time will tell, where I'll end up:/

hmmm...

So I'm watching tv and I just heard this...
"If its on paper, then its the truth"
Is that really true? If u think about it, I think that statement is true. If someone can write something down on paper, either hand write or type it up and give it to someone,then I think most of it is the truth. When people write things, most of them are in this state of mind where their main focus is on whatever it is they are writing about. Like for instance right now, how I'm typing this. My focus is on this right now. I'm trying to express myself and my thoughts on what I just heard. Everything I'm saying is true. So therefore, I believe that "if its on paper, its true" or partially sometimes. Idk why I decided to write about this and maybe I don't even make sense but I just had to let that out.
What do you think? Do u think if its on paper, then its the truth?

waiting...

I've never checked my email this many times before.I have a blackberry and even though my email account is set up so that whenever I get a new email it will send it directly to my phone, I still feel like I should double check, just in case my stupid phone doesn't notify me. I'm so anxious. I get nervous just thinking about what the email will say. Will he admit he misses me? Will he tell me he loves me still? Will he still want me after everything I put him through over the past 4 months? Even after the year and a half of our relationship? As I lay here, still and quiet in my bed wrapped in my blankets, I wonder where he is right now and what he is doing. Have I crossed his mind at all today? If so, how long did it stay in his mind, and how often did the thought of me come? What is it he thought about if he did think about me. I have so many thoughts yet they only seem to come into my mind whenever I lay here alone. My room is cold, yet the empty and nervous feeling leaves my body in a sweat which makes up for it.I wish I could fall asleep but I think this is gods way of punishing me. He wants me to lay and have these ideas and thoughts rot my mind.I literally feel like an apple being invaded my hundreds maybe even thousands of ants. My brain is the apple and these questions are the ants overlapping my mind and consuming my thoughts. I'm lost for words. All I know is..I wish you were here. I pray that whatever my future brings, you will be the center of it and I will be the center of yours too.