I wonder if she got hers too?

:/ uhhh.I hate this.

Wow. Is she still really in the picture?hmm.. Old habits never die. Well, I'm not gonna stand here and wait for ppl to make up their minds. I'm gonna go out and have fun. Maybe meet someone interesting:)

So I'm kinda upset right now. I had a really interesting dream. It felt so real. When I woke up, I was happy to be dreaming. All I remember was running, and ending no where. I'm curious to know how it ended. Did I die from those gang members chasing me or did I find a good enough hiding place for them to just give up on looking for me? Hmmm... I really hate it how some of my dreams never end and leave me wondering what happened. I wish I could know or at least close my eyes and pick up right where it last left off. Wouldn't that be crazy if everyone could alter the ending to our dream? That would be so very cool..now I lay here in my bed, contemplating whether or not I should call. I went to bed sad last night bc of what was said. If there's other girls, then why can't there be other boys? Just doesn't seem right. Maybe I'm way in over my head with everything. I don't like the immediate insecure feeling I got from our conversation last night. Why would his friend ask if he was talking to chelsea? Really? Maybe I do need some time to really think about this. If someone comes along the way and I find interesting, then why not give it a chance? I can't keep feeling like this with him. It brings back way too many old thoughts and feelings. So many questions unanswered. I don't even think its worth asking. Who knows if the answer will be true or not..looks like I have a lot on my plate right now. Like I said, the only solution would be to give it time. Time will tell, where I'll end up:/

Fuck tears. I hate crying. I'd rather take 50 drowsy pills before I allow myself to go to sleep crying.goodnight.